The 12 love types
Four attachment styles × three ways of showing love
All twelve types
🗼 The Lighthousesecure attachment
🌱 The Gardeneracts of service love language
⚓ The Anchorphysical touch love language
📖 The Open Bookanxious attachment
🧲 The Magnetover-giving in relationships
🎆 The Fireworkanxious attachment
🏝️ The Islanddismissive avoidant attachment
🏰 The Fortressavoidant attachment
🌉 The Drawbridgeavoidant attachment, slow to trust
🦎 The Chameleonfearful-avoidant attachment
🔥 The Phoenixearned secure attachment
⛈️ The Stormpush-pull relationship dynamic
Which love type is most common?
On our starting estimate, The Lighthouse is the most common type and The Storm is the rarest. The three secure types together account for about half the distribution, which matches what the published attachment research would predict.
| Type | Attachment | Maps to | Share |
|---|---|---|---|
| 🗼 The Lighthouse | Secure | secure attachment | 22% |
| 🌱 The Gardener | Secure | acts of service love language | 18% |
| ⚓ The Anchor | Secure | physical touch love language | 12% |
| 🏰 The Fortress | Avoidant | avoidant attachment | 10% |
| 📖 The Open Book | Anxious | anxious attachment | 9% |
| 🏝️ The Island | Avoidant | dismissive avoidant attachment | 8% |
| 🧲 The Magnet | Anxious | over-giving in relationships | 7.8% |
| 🌉 The Drawbridge | Avoidant | avoidant attachment, slow to trust | 5% |
| 🎆 The Firework | Anxious | anxious attachment | 4.2% |
| 🦎 The Chameleon | Disorganized | fearful-avoidant attachment | 1.6% |
| 🔥 The Phoenix | Disorganized | earned secure attachment | 1.4% |
| ⛈️ The Storm | Disorganized | push-pull relationship dynamic | 1% |
These are estimates, and they're labelled as estimates. Starting estimate, seeded from published attachment-style prevalence research. It is not a count of our test-takers, and the live counter replaces it once enough tests are complete. How we compute rarity →
Which types are compatible?
Every pair of the 12 types has its own page, with one honest verdict — Green, Amber or Harder. The call comes from the four axes the test measures: attachment style, conflict style, love language and pace. We don't publish a made-up compatibility score.
The easiest pairings put a secure type with almost anyone. The hardest cluster where anxious attachment meets avoidant — the classic pursue-withdraw loop — or where two disorganized patterns leave nobody holding steady.
How the grid works
Your attachment style sets the row. It's the pattern underneath everything else: how safe closeness feels, and what your nervous system does when it wavers.
Your love language sets the column. Words and quality time land in the connection column, acts of service and gifts in the provider column, physical touch in its own. That's what makes two people with the same attachment style feel so different to date.
The other two axes — conflict style and secure behaviours — don't change which type you get. They fill in the content: how you argue, and how much the pattern is currently driving. The full method is here.